Monday, May 24, 2010

Against The Laws of Nature


Via Dan Riehl, we have this overwrought "confession" from South Carolina political blogger Will Folks, who claims that he had an affair with aspiring governor Nikki Haley, a Sarah Palin/Red State approved conservative. Not sure if she is a "Tea Party" candidate, but she's definitely a reformer. With Palin's endorsement giving Haley's candidacy a shot in the arm, Folks' confession has all of the timing of a Hollywood movie...or a sleazy political hatchet job. Take your pick: Honey, I Shtupped The Candidate For SC Governor

On a very personal level I have become the primary target of a group that will apparently stop at nothing to destroy the one S.C. gubernatorial candidate who, in my opinion, would most consistently advance the ideals I believe in. For those of you unfamiliar with the editorial bent of this website, the candidate I am referring to is S.C. Rep. Nikki Haley.

This network of operatives has made it abundantly clear that in the process of “taking down” Rep. Haley, they will also stop at nothing to humiliate me, destroy my family and take a sizable chunk out of the credibility this website has managed to amass for itself. Such is the blood sport of S.C. politics, I suppose – particularly in the wake of the scandal that consumed my former boss, Gov. Mark Sanford.

Specifically, within the last forty-eight hours several pieces of information which purportedly document a prior physical relationship between myself and Rep. Haley have begun to be leaked slowly, piece by piece, to members of the mainstream media. I am told that at least one story based upon this information will be published this week. Watching all of this unfold, I have become convinced that the gradual release of this information is deliberately designed to advance this story in the press while simultaneously forcing either evasive answers or denials on my part or on Nikki’s part.

I refuse to play that game. I refuse to have someone hold the political equivalent of a switch-blade in front of my face and just sit there and watch as they cut me to pieces.

The truth in this case is what it is. Several years ago, prior to my marriage, I had an inappropriate physical relationship with Nikki.

That’s it.

My rule of thumb on these things is this: if a woman says she had sex with a particular man, it's the truth (unless paternity is involved). But, if a man says he had sex with a particular woman? Especially when the woman is significantly hotter and more prominent than the guy? Let's just say I need more than his word, especially when the "man" is a white-bread right wing activist who worked for Mark Sanford and was himself involved in a domestic violence scandal.

Then, again, maybe this is a new way to clear the campaign field of strong opponents: find a blogger with claims of a chequered past with some prominent political women, get him to open up, and watch the chips fall as they may. Luckily, Psota has just such a chequered past with a number of powerful Bay Area women. I make these confessions more in sorrow than in anger, but believe that our cause and our country will be the better for it:

1.) Back in the mid-1990's, I had a fling with Barbara Boxer. She came into the cafe where I was working and we hit it off immediately. Yes, there is a 30 year age difference (not to mention 12 inches in height), but we overcame those obstacles. Five feet of fury...

2.) A few year later, I had an affair with Nancy Pelosi, whom I met at an antiques fair at Fort Mason. I still have her Hermes scarf from if anyone needs proof.

3.) In 2001, I had an affair with Carly Fiorina. We met over drinks at Il Fornia in Palo Alto. She used to say that I was the only person with whom she could be a woman.

4.) I had a one-night stand with Kamala Harris after she spoke at my law school graduation in 2007.

5.) I had inappropriate physical contact with Dianne Feinstein at the symphony. There was a crowd around the cash bar and my hand may have brushed against her bosom.

6.) Barbara Lee? Did her on a beach in Cuba

7.) Anne Eschoo? Oh, yeah.

8.) Elena Kagen? I'm not even going to tell you what she's into

9.) I also received a number of unsolicited cards and gifts from Jerry Brown. What, you didn't know he's gay?

10.) I might have had an affair with Meg Whitman, but I'm not sure. Check back next week when I make the Free Will Endorsements.

I know there are a lot of people - "operatives," if you will - out there who will be appalled and outraged by this. But, I didn't get into blogging or male whoring so I could keep living a lie. There are certain operatives who have begun spreading stories in the media about my behavior and the women who joined me. I will not let my story define me, nor will I let others tell my story. If there's anyone I should apologize to, it's Truth, whom I have abused shamelessly.

Also, God. I would like to apologize to God. And to Jesus.

I am a firm believer in living a lie, and then telling lies to improve my living. I thank Will Folks for showing me the way forward.

2 comments:

  1. I think 阿楊's comment above is just so out of line. Who are you to judge, 阿楊?

    I'm glad you came clean on this, Psota, though I do have some reservations about your choice of lovers. Not that I'm anyone to cast aspersions.

    When Barbara Boxer and I had our inappropriate physical relationship (and dang, that whip really hurt), I called her "sugar-pie honey bun" while in the throes of passion. I was stunned when she replied, "Please call me Senator, I worked so hard for that designation."

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