Who Runs the Republican Party?

You have to admire the progressives' ability to get their message out. Rush Limbaugh gave a tremendous speech on Saturday night and by Tuesday morning, every Democrat in the land was repeating, in rapid fire declaratory sentences, that Rush is the "leader of the GOP." 

Some Dems, however, are worried that in targeting Rush the Obama Administration is making him more powerful than before. Some are even beginning to wonder why a political party that gets all drama queen-y over Nixon's enemies list would be making such an overt effort  to attack a media personality. Arianna Huffington, for one, sees the folly in this:

Rush is just a massive shiny object that distracts our attention from the real intellectual force and energy behind the Republican Party, Karl Rove.

Oh No! Arianna's figured it out! And she knows what sort of terrors lie behind the coke bottle glasses of the Architect: 

Rove has studied his Orwell and understands that "who controls the past, controls the future."

When people bring up Orwell, you know you must be prepared for some deep thinking. 

But Arianna does not realize that she has only gone through the leading edge of the Looking Glass. For while Rush is a distraction from Rove, Rove is a distraction from the true lodestar of the Republican Party. That person is none other than: 

TRIG PALIN

Yes, that's right. You might think he is the 11 month old special needs baby of Sarah Palin, but that is just a clever disguise. Trig is actually Robert IV, the 900 year old Prince Regent of Acquitaine, and the last living descendent of the Merovingian Line. He has been kept alive all these years by a splinter of the True Cross, which entered his bloodstream after becoming lodged under his thumbnail. 

Trig has been revealed to Us to fulfill the last prophesy of the GOP, which was written by Robert Taft, and sealed in an envelope to be opened upon the end of Prescott Bush's grandson's presidency; and only if that should become necessary if the nation's law professors were able to stop the Sire of Prescott's "shredding of the Constitution". 

The Taft Prophesy is being fulfilled as we speak. It has but one goal: to "break" the UAW, so that America's proud, hard working auto workers can toil for their GOP overlords in our underground kingdom where we generate illusory economic growth. Our plans for the UAW's retirees are even more horrifying: from this day forward, they shall pay the full cost of their health care premiums above that which is covered by Medicare. Mwah-Ha-Ha-Ha!

But, I have already said too much.